As
I lay in bed, I begin to reflect on Christmas just past, I can't help going
back 12 months to Christmas 2012.
On
Christmas eve 2012 I was living in my university halls. Isolated from all
family and most friends. My then flatmates had gone home, along side with most
of the residents and staff from Apt Student Living. After having spent a day
feeling low, crying and light drinking, I decided to go to my friend's flat and
continue drinking or get high. In all honesty I didn't care what we did as long
as I wasn't sober enough to realise how much of a mess my life was. We
called a recommended drug dealer who is committed to his craft
and works during the Christmas period. We got our bag of weed, called over
a few other lonely souls around us and had what had to be the saddest
pre-Christmas party ever.
My
friend and I continued to drink, roll up some joints and get high. Much to the
dismay and concern to those around us who where rather drunk.I really don't
remember much of this night, but I know, with full support and encouragement
from my friend, I started texting the dealer again. We invited him over with
the hope of getting more weed but this time for free. Showing
true commitment to his work he comes to our halls with a free bag of good
quality weed (he must have been in the Christmas spirit). The 3 or 4 of us
continued to get high listen to music get drunk and get more high. All until
security came and kicked him out.
I
passed out on the sofa. Woke up on Christmas day around mid-day stumble out
this flat and make the long 5 minute journey across the courtyard, up the
stairs to my flat and roll up in a ball and cry and drink myself back to sleep.
Vs.
This
Christmas eve; I woke up and procrastinated for most of the day. I finally
realised how late it was and made the long 37 minute journey from my house to
my aunt's house (who had kindly opened up her house to me). 1 1/2
hours later, due to train delays and cancellations, I was standing
outside a church waiting to be picked up by my aunt.15 minutes later I was
sitting around a dinner table with my aunt and cousin laughing and
catching up. It was almost like we hadn't lost contact or argued with each
other at all.
Until
we left for mass I ate and talked God, life and relationship with my older
cousin. At 11 as a family we left for mid-night mass but not after having
an argument about which church we're going to go to. I sang long forgotten
carols and giggled with my cousin about some of the odd things about the
service. Afterwards
we went home and opened up presents. I wasn't expecting anything but I got slippers
which where 2 sizes to small and still had the tag on. By far the best
present I've ever been given.
Christmas
day, I was woken by a call from my mum in Africa at 6, then later by my aunt
letting me know she's on her way to Kent for church, then later again by my
cousin to cook Christmas dinner for the family. We ate a typical African
Christmas dinner of 4 different kinds of meat, potatoes salad and rice. As I
was getting ready to lay down after consuming enough food for 3 grown men,
my aunt calls telling us all to get ready to go to my uncles for
the annual Christmas party.
Only
after a brief nap I was driven and reunited with 1 uncle 1 aunt 5 cousins
1 nephew and a random person. Each welcomed me back with warm hugs and
loving words, which is not what I was expecting. But as I sat and watch all
those of drinking age get completely drunk and dance I couldn't help but give a
big thank you to God.
See
friend, I presume your my friend seeing as your reading about my life. The
only difference about 25 December 2012 and 25 December 2013 is my relationship
with God. From it being fragmented and something I was ashamed. Now become
something I more than happily share with others like yourself. This
Christmas I got a full understanding of what Christmas means. Forget about the
lie that is Santa Claus and appreciate the truth that is Love personified, Jesus
Christ. I now know why he came down to earth, so that I can have a life and
that I might have it more abundantly. See what I was living last year wasn't
life. I had lost all hope, faith and isolated myself from love and was
just existing.
The
only reason that this year was so different was because I decided to give my
life to Jesus. The best decision I have ever made in my life.
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